YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. I have a friend who is pathologically generous. Despite the fact that he only appears to have one suit and occasionally mentions his overdraft of £40,000, he cate- gorically refuses ever to let one pay the bill when we meet in clubs or restaurants. The one time he did allow me to take him out to lunch, his eyes lit up at the set menu at £9.95 and he insisted on having that. On the most recent occasion he took eight peo- ple to the Caprice. As three of them were my friends and we had joined up at the last minute, I sent him a cheque through the Post. His wife tore it up. What can I do to redress the balance?
Name and address withheld A. Why not make an effort to clap eyes on Your friend's cheque-hook? In this way you could glean his banking details and make a secret note of his branch and its address. You may then simply pop along to the bank and anonymously pay a suitable amount of cash into his account. You can equally send a postal order in the mail to be credited in his favour. My bank informs me that you
need not even know your friend's account number as long as you can give his name and address. You may then sit back and enjoy his company in the future, secure in the knowledge that he will not be subsidis- ng the merriment single-handedly and to his personal detriment.
Q. I am quite rich and I suspect that some- one on whom I am not particularly keen is about to ask me to become godmother to the baby she will shortly give birth to. How can I refuse without giving offence?
Name and address withheld A. Make an excuse to telephone this person at your earliest convenience. During chat- ting, mention that you have just run into a really old friend from school — or from some other arena of your life with which this person is unfamiliar. Declare that this imaginary old friend has just had a baby and asked you to be a godparent. Continue, `It was such a shame to have to say no. She is one of my oldest friends, but that's the trouble — at my age one already has too many godchildren and, as I take being a godmother so seriously, I had to say no.' Conclude emphatically, 'I wouldn't be phys- ically able to give the child the attention I feel one has a duty to give it and I am not prepared to compromise my beliefs.' In this way you should preclude the risk of receiv- ing such an unwelcome invitation.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, send it to Dear Mary, The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1.
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