Another voice
A little more advice
Auberon Waugh
Montmaur, Aude News trickles through slowly, filtered and somehow mellowed by being four or five days late in the Daily Telegraph's air mail editions. Sometimes they overtake each other, so that we learned of the Pope's death a few days before the momentous news of Mr Thorpe's arrest. Both items should have been cause for a certain quiet satisfaction. For three years now I have been advising the Pope to die sometimes in the wheedling, deferential tone of a Papal courtier, sometimes in the peremptory, no-nonsense accents of a family doctor. Now he has finally taken my advice, he leaves a feeling of emptiness, even of desolation. Few, I fancy, would quarrel with my judgment that while he was probably a very good man, he was certainly an abominably bad Pope. But we have no reason to suppose the new one will be any better and he might be much worse.
Apart from a handful of Latin American exhibitionists and European marxists, the Curia would appear to be composed of timid, indifferent men. At least Pope Paul suffered for his irresolution and occasional bursts of wrongheadedness. The worst we could have would be some charismatic materialist, preaching socialism with Christianity as an extra ingredient. The best we can hope for is a liturgical conservative with the sense to see that the enthusiasts have gone too far. What we shall get will almost certainly be a cunning, mediocre politician of moderate views, anxious only to hold the show together, without the grace to suffer for his abject role. A residual trust in the benevolence of the Holy Ghost (not to be addressed under some other name) led me to urge Pope Paul to die, but now he has done so I begin to have terrible doubts about whether the Holy Ghost is really much interested in the Catholic Church any more. Perhaps, being over eighty, He is excluded from the Sistine deliberations.
The same problem arises over Jeremy Thorpe. For two years I have been urging the police -and society in general -to take a closer look at the allegations of Mr Norman Scott and a closer look at the Sunday Times campaign waged on Thorpe's behalf. Now they have done so and the wretched man has been arrested we must all suppose he is innocent, at any rate until such time as a court may decide otherwise. It is a depressing thought, and one cannot really hail the police action as a satisfactory conclusion of all our efforts. However much one may dissent from the absurd doctrine that while all citizens are innocent of a criminal charge until proved guilty, Privy Councillors are more innocent than others, one must sadly
conclude that the courts are no longer held in such respect as will allow them to decide the matter. A court is as likely as not to reach the wrong conclusion, and whatever it decides it will create a firm body of contrary opinion.
Now that the Pope is dead and Mr Thorpe has been arrested, the dreadful question might be expected to arise: was I wrong to give this advice? Should I not, perhaps, feel a little guilty over the havoc to which I may have contributed, in however small a way?
The newspaper commentators should make it clear that commentary is an abstract art form, of no particular relevance to the' issues or persons named. They are merely the clay with which he struggles to create a work of art, a thing of beauty to be judged by standards quite different from those by which one would judge its constituent parts, timeless and sufficient to itself.
With this lengthy preamble as a caution, I approach the urgent tasi of advising Mrs Thatcher on House of Lords reform, and teaching her how to put Mr Callaghan's new-found enthusiasm for abolition of the Upper House to her own electoral advan tage. Critics will object that it is a variant of my old advice, happily disregarded at the time, that the best and only democratic response to such phenomena as the Jarrow Hunger March is to organise a Chelsea March of the Well Fed. But conservatism is essentially concerned with defending positions already held, and the Conservative Party must learn the uses of counter-attack in defence, at present confined to such unwholesome issues as race and capital punishment.
Mr Callaghan's motives in adopting the House of Lords as an election issue are pre sumably twofold. In the first place he believes that it would be a good thing in itself for the House of Lords to be abolished, and meet, just, fitting and pleas ant in the sight of God in other words, there may be some electoral mileage in it. In the second place, he hopes to sustain, invigorate and fortify his traditional support, now sadly reduced, of those who demonstrated for the 1911 Parliament Act, marched at Jarrow and laid down their lives in Spain in other words, keep the Left happy and distract it from other, electorally more embarrassing demands.
As we all know, very few people could give a fig whether the House of Lords sur vives or not. It has long been part of Labour folk wisdom that any election which can be fought on the issue of Lords versus Commons would prove a triumphant success for the Commons (my own view is that the electorate would vote, as always, on the price of
Spectator 19 August 1978 fish fingers) while a handful of Tories and members of the House of Lords have convinced themselves that your ordinarY man in the street (now, alas, disappearing in the Islamic invasion) has the greatest affection and respect for his Upper House. There are also long, tedious and implausible argilments to be put for the preservation of the Lords as some sort of public utility, like the waterworks or electric light companY. own interest is much simpler to annoy toe Left and keep it unhappy, to avoid change and to prevent people from exerting Power over other people. My suggestion achieves the first two effortlessly. If it is implemented in full it will achieve the third to a degree which one can only shudder to contemplate. It is based `911 they can of it. Skilfully used now, in C011 junction the certainty that the strongest impulse in this country at the moment is not hatred of the Lords but hatred of politicians and mistrust of all political parties. Politi' cians in the main stream have been understandly nervous of trying to harness this great force, leaving it to Enoch and fringe. parties of the Left and Right to make %Oa' junction with Labour demands for alstitutional reform, it could provide the able, elected Second Chamber with mean: infiltration oofncoeu-rfodre-amlloacnrastwicersytostelemft.-wing In the first place, Mrs Thatcher Might make it plain that if and when a Labour government does abolish the Lords' °I. interfere with it in any wrecking way, the Conservatives will replace it with a respect' ingful powers or 'teeth' or 'clout' or what:: ever repulsive expression is then fas", ionable to frustrate the Commons. Ever.; device yet discovered single transferabhit. votes, proportional representation, eig f year circulating elections, no prospect oc government preferment, statene -bor eleto tion expenses would be deploYed ensure that it was free of control by the parties and consisted for the most part n, centre-right geriatrics or Wise Men. A °Ifs dition of membership might be forty Yea_f in the public services, law, professions cull trade union movement, and one might":', make the old dears take an oath or alli"-on their freedom from party allegiance entering the Second Chamber. A moment's reflection will convince 01 one of the beauty of this idea its balane.ic its justice, its vast benefits in demdoestrre cra„,` practice. Used as a threat, it should all Labour's enthusiasm for abolishingu:s. Upper House. But then -oh dear, thej,,tise tion must arise -is this enough? The 'my of Lords is a fine institution, of course; ord brother-in-law is very eloquent, argina*'nthGowrie is very beautiful in a swiftr-hafri erine sort of way. Even Lord Ha5 if would probably reveal some finer politfor 8 only he could be persuaded to sit still ,,s it moment. But is the House of Lords. hv dying survives, really something wort.-J de ttlY for?! think Mrs Thatcher should indu arid proposals in her Manifesto anYwaY' then see what happens.
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