THE INTRUDING FATHER
sm,—Many plans are being made for the return of our men from the Front. There is one point of view that seems to have been overlooked. It is that of the Toddler. Thousands of boys and girls under five in this country have never seen their father, or at best, have forgotten him entirely. The home-coming, however much it may be regarded as a solution of domestic problems, presents difficulties of a very special nature.
We assume the child has been taught that ." Daddy is fighting the naughty Germans," and has often been encouraged to kiss his photograph. So far so good. But what happens next? A telegram arrives, and the mother reacts with grief or joy, according to the nature of the message. Hurried arrangements are made for relative or friend to take over, and it is carefully explained, to the child that "Mother has to go to see—or meet—Daddy." This is the first tactical error. The father is asso- ciated by the child with abandonment by mother, and for this may never forgiven. Such a situation can bring permanent ill-results in its train.
In time, the parents come back, and the father bursts in on a be- wildered child, who is glad to sec his mother, but reviews the intruding stranger without enthusiasm. This is the second tactical error. The father should came back alone, and the mother stay away, a least for a few days, to allow him to establish a positive relationship of fearless affection, while the magnetic, material field is-out of action. The sense of monopolising the father, even for so short a time, goes a long way to tempering the child's urge to• possess the mother.
The next mistake is made when the child finds his cot is placed in another room—or it isn't. Either solution is unfortunate however in- evitable in' present circumstances. Sooner or later, a child must leave his mother's bedroom. The occasion should not be made to appear as an eviction by the father. Without meaning any harm, the most devoted mothers have already done much mischief by allowing the father to come back as an intruder.—I am, yours faithfully,
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