Television
Over the moon
Wendy Cope
Simon, you've never resented my job, have you?'
`Not at all. I'm very proud of you and I hope I'm supportive.'
`You are. How would you feel about me taking on another job?'
`Well, anything short of stunt work is fine by me.'
Isn't that nice? It's part of a conversation between the heroine of The Manageress (Channel 4, 9 p.m., Sunday) and her kind, rich, good-looking barrister husband. Gab- riella Benson (played by Cherie Lunghi) has just about everything — beauty, a successful business, the aforementioned spouse — but life gets more difficult when she is persuaded to become the very first female manager of a professional football team. Amazingly, Gabriella has been a keen football supporter for 25 years, and she has lots of ideas about training and tactics. No wonder the chairman of the local club couldn't wait to offer her the job.
Unlike the saintly barrister, almost all the men associated with the football club are unpleasant, sexist louts. So are the journalists who write about them. It seems probable that the beautiful Gabriella will eventually tame them, though not without a few secret tears. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to be able to identify with her.
Here's some more dialogue, this time between a vicar and the foreman of the disastrous builders who are repairing his church: `And you'll be pleased to know we've replaced that wash-basin near the door. It wasn't even plumbed in properly. I mean, who put that in for you?'
`The font? It was Norman.'
`Yes, well he was a right cowboy.'
I thought that was funny. It comes from one of the sketches in Something for the Weekend, a new show on BBC 1 (7.35 p.m., Saturday). There were a few other bits that worked well — I enjoyed the party political broadcast designed to persuade people to vote for a teddy bear. But there wasn't enough good material to fill a half-hour slot. There hardly ever is.
After 17 years, Mastermind (BBC 1) can still make half an hour go by very quickly. This week, with five finalists instead of the usual four contestants, it provided an exciting 40 minutes. To make the final more enjoyable, I watched the midweek programme Mastermind: The Final Five (BBC 1), which told you something about the individuals involved and about the way the questions are set. In the early days, said Boswell Taylor, who co-ordinates the specialist questions, they couldn't get top academics to do the job. Now they are proud to do it. Though I like Mastermind, I was sorry to hear this. Professors shouldn't be proud of working for television quiz shows. They should demand lots of money for it and maybe spend the proceeds on something worthwhile.
Mind you, this programme seemed more worthwhile than most when it was won by the multiple sclerosis victim Mary Eliz- abeth Raw, who answered from a wheel- chair. The smile on her face was wonderful to see. Now and again, I reflected, televi- sion can make a lot of people feel very happy.
But if you stayed tuned to BBC 1, the happiness was short-lived. The 9.20 p.m. news had film of Chinese dissidents under arrest. The prisoners, each accompanied by two guards, were not allowed to stand up straight. Whether walking or standing still, they were forced to bend forward, as if bowing to authority. Of all the terrible images that have been broadcast in the past ten days, I think these pictures may prove the most unforgettable.
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