Grey Poltergeist There has been a progressive deterioration in my
relations with Nutto, a female grey squirrel who has lived in my house since last autumn. When she first arrived she was quite small and lived in the nursery. " Just like a little ornament ! " Nanny would admiringly exclaim when Nutto sat bolt upright on the mantelpiece. eating a grape in her forepaws; she was affectionate and liked being played with. But as she grew larger the squirrel, always bold, became positively imperious. A succession of thefts. and breakages led to her exile to a large wired-in balcony outside my dressing-room, from which she can be allowed egress by unblocking a rain-water drain. Sho pops through this on to the wistaria and one would expect her to go off into the woods which come down to close behind the house. But Nutto is deaf to the call of the wild. She pines for the great indoors and seldom fails to effect an entry. She has practically destroyed a valuable pair of curtains, she has totally destroyed—by using them as interior decorations in her nest—four of my best ties, and the other day when we came back from a point-to-point all that remained of half a pound of cheese was a lacerated morsel, contemptuously sited half way up the staircase. How does one disembarrass oneself from a situation of this kind ? I can't bring myself to shoot the beastly animal. if I take her to a distant part of the woods and let her go I make myself liable to prosecution under the Grey Squirrels Act (1947). Our destinies seem to be inextricably interlocked in mutual antipathy, as though we were characters in some ghastly play. My only hope is that Romance will supervene, and Nutto will leave her wealthy protector for a furry mate. 1 pity the poor devil if she does.
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