Radio
Jibber-jabber, yackety-yak
Michael Vestey
Here is the news: 'The lunatics are running the madhouse again — interest rates go up for the fourth time . . . We have a bankers' economy run by a com- plete banker.' Thus did Talk Radio, Britain's only independent speech network, inform me of last Thursday's latest interest rate rise, and, of course, the 'complete banker' — we know what that rhymes with — was Eddie George, the Governor of the Bank of England.
While broadly in agreement with the sen- timents expressed by the presenter Peter Deeley, I prefer the more sober approach to conveying information within the frame- work of what some of us still quaintly call current affairs. The BBC now throws it all under the title of 'news', blending the straight facts with analysis. Talk Radio, though, often sounds like a cross between Radio One, Radio Five Live and American talk shows. Although it has straightforward bulletins, the station broadcasts news in the form of topics for its listeners to then phone in to comment on. It's a cheap for- mat which I hope the BBC is not thinking of copying in its current review of news programmes, though I've noticed it creep- ing into some of its radio networks.
Deeley then conducted a serious inter- view with Dr Ruth Lea of the Institute of Directors before returning with a topic: the love life of the Princess of Wales. 'Diana and Dodi,' said Deeley. 'She's looking for a man so why don't we try and find her one? Let's find her a man.' Listeners were invit- ed to phone with their suggestions for a suitable paramour for Diana and many did. The breakfast programme has a similar flavour but with fewer interviews. Its two presenters are Paul Ross and Carol McGif- fin and this really is a straight lift from American radio. Apart from news bulletins, sport and traffic information, the presen- 'Oh, all right then, please hand over your pension' ters chat to each other in the joshing man- ner of American morning talk shows and they field calls.
Used as we are to the more or less impartial tones of Today on Radio Four (its bias is more subtle) one is jolted to hear Ross saying of the interest rate, 'It's a black day. I warned them about voting for New Labour, didn't I? Would you vote New Labour now, knowing what you know now?' As the station is independent there's no reason why its broadcasters shouldn't express their political opinions; it's just that one isn't used to it. Every so often the show plays the recorded comments of the repul- sive New York 'shock-jock' Howard Stern who seems to be an icon to Ross and McGiffin. Stern's show goes out on radio and television simultaneously and nothing is too tasteless for him to broadcast.
Stern thinks he's pushing back the fron- tiers of what is allowed on air, and in a way he is, but his shows are lowering and warped experiences; they leave me with a niggling feeling of depression about mod- ern life and the exploitation of sad people for entertainment. Watching one of his radio shows on television last year I saw him interviewing a drunken dwarf; he was urging him to drop his trousers to display his genitals. The dwarf complied though the relevant part of his anatomy was blot- ted out. Stern thought it was a hoot but to me it was the radio of degradation, the sadism of the Roman arena. Ross and McGiffin worship Stern as McGiffin is given to saying, 'That's my radio hero, Howard Stern.' On Monday morning she was sighing about her inability to meet the creep.
Fortunately, her show has not descended to Stern's depths and I hope Talk Radio doesn't allow it to. In fact, its style is closer to another American radio talk show, Imus in the Morning, where Dick Imus and friends chat to each rather like Ross and McGiffin and take calls from listeners. Talk Radio's presenters frequently criticise the newspapers but feed off them to fill the show. Without newspapers they'd have nothing to say. An article in the Daily Tele- graph about a woman who spent large amounts of money on white T-shirts prompted them to ask listeners who they thought shouldn't be wearing such a gar- ment. Robin Cook and Peter Mandelson were candidates and McGiffin offered the aside, 'Robin Cook's wife is blaming the Tories for her marriage break-up? Can you believe it?' One caller suggested Sir Edward Heath but Ross said he couldn't imagine him in a matelot top.
So who likes this wittering, twittering, blather, blither, jibber-jabber, palavering yackety-yak? Quite a few, it seems. Talk Radio has been increasing its audience and it offers a choice for those who, in the morn- ings, dislike music, serious or pop, the sobri- ety and sometimes pomposity of Today, the newsier Radio Five Live show, and whatever else there is on the airways across the country. Talk's breakfast programme is undemanding froth with the emphasis on the cheerful. And here lies the clue. I asked an intelligent woman why she listened and she replied simply that it cheered her up. I can see that, and it also supplies an oppor- tunity for the listener to participate. 'Good morning, Doreen in Plymouth, you're on Talk Radio.' Good morning gorgeous peo- ple ...' replies Doreen. Good morning Paul and Carol — and goodbye.
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