Your Problems Solved
Dear Maly Q. During the summer I worked in my stepfather's office. I discovered that while he is generally well liked his (25) employees do have one gripe. At Christmas he always arranges for each one of them to receive a present of a hamper of 'luxury' foods. These, apparently, often contain items such as olive paste, wild boar sausages, crystallised fruit and stem ginger which the recipients are none too keen on. One employee told me they have Googled the cost of these hampers and, frankly, most of them would prefer the cash. How can I tactfully persuade my stepfather to start giving cash instead without hurting his feelings?
Name and address withheld A. It would be inappropriate to give cash instead. Better to give vouchers from a store such as John Lewis from which virtually any desired goods can be bought either in person or online. Spare your stepfather's feelings by casually steering the topic around to your time in the office. Joke that you are sorry you will not be there at Christmas and will therefore miss out on receiving a hamper: . Then ask him, 'Is it true that in America they have stopped giving employees hampers at Christmas in case the employees are allergic to some of the foodstuffs within and sue their bosses?' As he is considering this disagreeable scenario, cry, I've just had a brilliant idea! Why don't you give them all vouchers from John Lewis instead?' You will have planted this idea in his mind in good time for Christmas.
Q. May I pass on a catering tip to readers? I have just returned from Uist which, like all remote places these days, was surprisingly social. One warm night a few house-parties arranged to get together at a house near Bernary. It turned out the numbers involved would be an almost unmanageable 38. The owner of the house where we met dealt brilliantly with the dilemma by arranging for a local fish and chip van to come and park on the drive. Each family paid for themselves and the house provided whiskey and wine. Other readers might like to consider this solution when faced with daunting numbers of guests.
A.O., Kent A. Thank you for this lip. Bacon sandwiches were also dispensed from a van parked in the garden of a teenage parry in North Norfolk last month. By all accounts, the youthful guests were more than happy with this one-dish option.
Q. I am a four-year-old boy who is lucky enough to have a very correct Nanny to guide me through the minefield of social etiquette. However Nanny Claire's injunction that 'all joints on the table shall be carved' has caused my father some confusion. He reports that, at all but the most formal of meals, it is quite usual to see elbows and arms and he confesses that he himself has done this. Dear Mary, what is the proper form?
J.S., Walton-on-Thames, Surrey A. Nanny is right on this occasion. Females usually give the best advice on table manners. It may well be true that your father has seen elbows and arms, including his own, on the table, but that does not mean it is not bad manners to put them there. Women just mind about it much more than men. You can practise table manners by propping a mirror in front of you. You will soon see it looks better to keep your joints off the table. Having good table manners will mean that, in later life, women will find you very attractive.
Previous page