Erudition in the Nursery

Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific; How can I fathom thy nature specific, Loftily poised in the ether capacious, Strongly resembling a gem carbopaceous? • The usual prizes were offered for a translation of 'Mary, Mary, quite contraty,' or any other popular, traditional nursery rhyme, into equally and similarly un-nurserylike terms. Many years ago an ingenious versifier transposed the nursery rhyme 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star' into scientific jargon, thus :

Ili's competition, variously described by entrants as 'very difficult' and 'a pleasant task,' attracted It surprisingly large entry. Forty-five nursery rhymes were divided among about 120 competi- tors and suitably maltreated. The standard was, on the whole, quite high, the main fault being —naturally—over-elaboration. In too many en- tries erudition was so recondite and Latinity so excessive that, even with the aid of The Oxford Nursery Rhyme Book, it was sometimes hard to identify the concealed original.

I did not regard the reader's puzzlement as a Prize-worthy point. What I looked for was a close approximation in detail to the original, in a language technical but 'understanded of the People'; with a more or less nursery rhythm—in short, I wanted something as near as possible to the stanza quoted in the competition terms. Several entrants, who failed to conform to these requirements, nevertheless submitted amusing en- tries. John Haines, for instance, sent :

Foster, practitioner, registered medical, 'Twixt the bright intervals journeyed to Gloucester. nemibath sequent to hydrophile pedicle, City deleted from visiting roster. Joe Canasta exploited Army jargon thus :

York, of, thc D., the C-in-C at GHQ ground forces,

With 10,000 personnel (but no T/0 for horses), Deploys his masse de matucuvre on to trig point 909, And then regroups his combat troops : FDL, own start line,

Some eighteen competitors, besides the winners, were earnestly considered for a prize, but were, for one fault or another, put out of the running. I should mention particularly, perhaps, Gloria Prince and J. A. Lindon, who took a great deal of trouble with their entries, but I felt that their ingenuity was outside the competition terms. I suggest the six guineas be divided equally among Nancy Gunter, D. R. Peddy, Areas, James Brock, Rhoda Tuck Pook and F. F. C. Edmonds.

PRIZES

(NANCY GUNTER)

The Man in the Moon

The Male Lunar Resident came prematurely down And ascertained the whereabouts of Norfolk's County Town,

Proceeding via a route of contra-Boreal-gravity

With refrigerated cereal he charred his facial cavity.

(D. R. REDDY)

G eorgie Porgie In consequence of Georgic's osculations, Young females manifested lachrymations, Till recreatory male-sexed adolescents Accelerated Georgic's evanescence.

(Awns) Where are you going to, my pretty maid?

'0 whither go you, spinster, with your prepossessing features?'

'To extract the lactic fluid from female bovine creatures.'

'Pray let me know the details of your personal economy!'

'I have no private assets, sir, except my physiognomy.' 'Our matrimonial union, then, is not in contempla- tion!'

'For no such project, sir, have you received an invitation!'

(JAMES BROCK)

Hey Diddle-Diddle An image delirious :

Cat . . . Stradivarius . . . Vaccine and Lunar Saltation— Phenomena followed by Canine Derision And rapid Utensil Migration.

(mum lUCK pooK) Rock-a-by, Baby Oscillate, infant, on summit arboreous. Container nutatcs at afflatus uproarious. Fission of scion produces a spectacle— Descent of the juvenile in the receptacle.

(17. F. C. EDMONDS)

Mary, Mary, quite contrary . . .

Marion. 0 maladjusted Marion, relate

What's the progress in your horticultural estate?

Bivalvular mollusca and campanula argental, With maidens pulchritudinous, in order regimental.