YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. What do you do when you are going somewhere for the weekend — say Edin- burgh — and have an old friend who lives there and who you still like but just don't " particularly want to see on that weekend? My girlfriend and I are going up for a gallery opening and want to keep our social Options open, but this old friend would be very hurt, if she ran into us, to think that we had come all the way up there and not got In touch. Name and address withheld 4. The simple solution to your problem is that either you or your girlfriend should write this friend's telephone number on the back of your hand in Biro. Then, if and when you run into her, you can wave your hand and cry excitedly, `Look! We were just about to ring you!' Meanwhile, you can go about your socialising guiltlessly.
Q. I read with interest the advice you gave to your reader W.M.N. in your issue of 6 February, about stopping his mother-in-law entering his bedroom for a chat in the mornings. I wonder if it is the same W:M.N. who stays with me for Ascot and Coincidentally also resides in Yorkshire. If 80, I wonder if you could give me some advice? How do I stop him entering my bedroom late at night when he has drunk to much of my excellent port? It is most disturbing for my wife and I, as he becomes emotional and, worse still, brings his two dogs on his nocturnal visits. J.D.H., Oxfordshire P.S. I have met his mother-in-law and admire her. Sadly she has never visited my bedroom in the early hours of the morning.
A. One way of sidestepping such nocturnal visitations would be for you to anticipate the event and draw your guest aside confi- dentially at bedtime. Instead of leaving him downstairs to drink and become emotional, say, `Would you mind if I came along to your bedroom for a little private chat? You go up and get into bed and I'll bring a cou- ple of glasses of port along, there's some- thing I want to discuss with you.' Most alco- hol-filled guests, given ten minutes in a fully recumbent position in or even on their bed, will have slipped off to the land of Nod by the time their host arrives with the promised port. Those who have not can soon be rendered comatose by a long and boring monologue narrated by their host in hypnotic tones. Once 'snuggled in', people are generally reluctant to leave a comfort- able nest.
Q. I recently met someone who I found very attractive at dinner. I want to write a note to her and ask her to see me again. It is not the message, nor the request, which worries me, but the problem of how to sign off is tormenting me and I have come to an impasse. Among the options I have consid- ered are: `Yours sincerely' (too formal), `Best wishes' (impersonal), 'Love' (too familiar), `Yours in anticipation' (too pre- sumptuous). What should I put?
J.F., Holt, Norfolk A. Why not take your cue from the distin- guished Colin Haycraft of Duckworth pub- lishers? Write your casual note in legible handwriting, then `end' in an indecipher- able flourish with something which looks like 'me when viewed under a microscope. The meaning of `sne is irrelevant, for the girl, or woman, will presume it is a signing- off with which she is unfamiliar. The impor- tant thing is that you have not written something inappropriate.
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