Get in the right spirit
’Tis the season to crack open a bottle of the good stuff, writes Venetia Thompson Iwould never be one to advocate drinking responsibly, especially not over the festive season when being irresponsibly, irrevocably drunk is often one’s only means of survival. Which is why this year I will be giving and hoping to receive the timeless gift of perfectly executed inebriation. Booze is a far more useful gift than cashmere socks, ludicrously expensive handbags, electronic goods that take weeks to work out how to use and books that nobody will ever read — especially in these uncertain economic times when a cheeky glass of something delicious will help take the edge off everything from opening a gas bill to being unable to pay the mortgage.
However, gone are the days of passing off unwanted bottles of dusty Advocaat and vanilla vodka on to unsuspecting friends and family at Christmas. What goes around comes around, and karma dictates that you will be forced to drink it when dropping in for a tipple in the New Year. Now is thus the time to spread luxury cheer. It lays the groundwork for a more pleasurable 2009, free of flavoured or sparkling vodkas, encounters with long-forgotten and undrinkable home-brewed rumtopf, and anything with a preserved creature lurking in the bottom.
The gift of the perfect G&T is a good place to start. It is a legendary classic highball, unerringly popular across generations and it deserves respect. Yet when Billy Joel wrote the lyrics ‘There’s an old man sitting next to me, makin’ love to his tonic and gin’, I doubt very much that the old boy was caressing a bottle of Gordon’s with one hand, his ‘ice and a slice’ in the other while the Schweppes leopard purred in the corner. Following a great deal of experimentation, the only gin and tonic I could envision myself makin’ love to is one that includes a hefty measure of the sublime Martin Miller’s gin and a slosh of Fever-Tree tonic. Putting a cheap, cloying, sugary tonic anywhere near a decent gin is nonsensical. Martin Miller’s 40% ABV, retailing for £17-£22, is a perfect stocking filler, and a crate of Fever-Tree’s tonic sitting under the tree makes a perfect two-part gift. Just make sure that you replace any wayward satsumas lurking in the bottoms of stockings with limes. If you want to seduce, or just impress, a gin martini drinker then make sure that you up the ante, and the ABV, by presenting them with a bottle of Miller’s Westbourne Strength, which at 45.2% packs a perfectly balanced punch, however wet or dry they like it. If you are feeling particularly brave, forget the rumtopf and try making some vermouth to go with it. And if you’re unlucky enough to know a vodka martini drinker, then I suggest that you still give them the gin in an effort to make them see the error of their ways. A good straw, which doubles as a cocktail stirrer, is an invaluable addition to any drinks cabinet, breast pocket or Chanel clutch. The limited edition ones that Theo Fennell has designed for Grey Goose (Selfridges, £130 — all profits going to the Elton John Aids Foundation) will perk up even the most dowdy of fizzy waters, as well as being perfect to plunge into that perfect gin and tonic. And if you cannot abide straws and stirrers, fear not, as it is equally useful as a weapon — a quick jab in the eye will work wonders should one be faced with a Christmas party assailant wielding a vat of eggnog.
Whisky is always a firm Christmas gift favourite, and nothing stares the credit crunch in the eye and cackles while warming the cockles quite like the gold stag’s head adorning a bottle of 40-year-old Dalmore from within its hand-stitched leather case. There are only 1,000 available worldwide, and your £1,350 will be far safer invested here than in most ISAs. The perfect gift — if you can bear to part with it having wrestled a bottle away from those opportunis tic Americans trying to snap them up at Milroy’s of Soho, the Whisky Exchange or Harrods.
Bubbles and sparkles are always popular at Christmas, so go and see the elves in their workshop at the pop-up Moët Atelier on Bond Street who will expertly plaster a bottle of their champagne with Swarovski crystals spelling out everything from special dates to your favourite expletives, with prices starting at £50. Take advantage before they disappear in a puff of smoke and pop down. Just don’t get carried away and encrust everything in sight — a little Swarovski goes a long way and goes far better with champagne than it does with gin or whisky.
Chocolate is always a good alternative, or addition, to alcohol — mood-enhancing, supposedly full of antioxidants (which you will need after all that gin) and maybe even an aphrodisiac. But stay away from anything infused with herbs or spices. Coriander, lavender and chilli artisanal chocolates may sound like a fun idea, but they will still be sitting sadly in the corner next to that dreaded bottle of deceased schnapps next Christmas. Go for high cocoa content and as few added ingre dients as possible, but don’t skimp on presentation as even purists don’t like ugly chocolates. Coco of Edinburgh’s Christmas chocolate box (www. cocochocolate.co.uk) contains a selection of plain white, milk and dark chocolates and each chocolate is decorated with cocoa butter artwork resembling different antique Christmas wrapping papers. If you fancy giving something a little more risqué, try their dark truffle Venus Nipples. They’re all single-origin and organic, but I won’t hold that against Coco as the chocolates are so beautiful.
With a good gin and tonic, fierce martini, dram of whisky and stash of chocolates to hand, Christmas and the New Year will pass with ease. Just make sure that you drop in on the lucky recipients frequently throughout 2009 as the Venus Nipples won’t last long. If in any doubt, buy duplicates and mark ‘gift to self’. After all, Christmas can’t be all about giving.
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