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Blankety blank
THAT restaurateurs do not like receiving unfavourable reviews is hardly news. Never- theless, I think it is worth remarking on Justin de Blank's letter (6 April) protesting at my nasty behaviour, and not simply because the allegations in it are so extraor- dinary. It does seem strange that while he agrees with my pronouncement on his restaurant — this is not quite a case of a restaurateur claiming to be gravely mis- judged and misunderstood — he argues against your right to read it. But his letter does prompt me to set out what I feel I am trying to do as a restaurant critic. He palpa- bly doesn't understand.
For it isn't his own little gripes and whinges that worry me, although I do find it interesting that like just about everyone nowadays he feels any adverse comment must result from some personal animus, some malicious intent. Because he is con- vinced I knew that a member of his staff used to prepare the food for dinner parties given by my father while he was at No. 11, it follows, apparently, that my failure to men- tion such a thing is a deliberate slight. The truth of the matter is I have absolutely no idea which caterers my father may have used while in office and should be pretty surprised if he were any the wiser himself.
But none of this is to the point: the point is — and it is an extraordinary one — that according to Mr de Blank there exists a con- vention that no restaurant be reviewed before press releases have been dispatched. Let me tell you now that no such conven- tion exists, and even were it to exist, I would have no intention of adhering to it. I do not want to be part of some cosy little guild or cartel, in cahoots with restaurateurs to tell you what they want when they think they are ready: I leave that to local newspapers looking for an easy ad sale. Restaurant criti- cism is not an arm of the PR industry: our job is to avoid, to ignore hype, not to suc- cumb to or collude with it. I am here to rep- resent you, the eater, not the restaurateur or any of his lackeys. Far from considering it my duty to wait until I have received a press release from a restaurant before feeling I may graciously be permitted a visit, I am glad to say that most of the restaurants I write about have never sent me a press release or solicited a visit in any way whatsoever. I go because I want to go, not because they want me to go. I have nothing against receiving press releases — although I would prefer to be sent a menu without any bumf — but I have no wish to be unduly influenced by them or the zealous offices that spew them out.
I agree with Mr de Blank, or up to a point; that one should wait until a restau- rant's properly up and running before mak- ing a judgment; but the restaurateur must give a show of good faith, too — not to us the critics, but to you the prospective diners. Most restaurateurs do precisely that. Over the past few years a convention has indeed sprung up (more commendable, certainly more respectable than the suggestion of waiting for a green light from a PR firm) whereby restaurateurs do not charge full price for the food they are serving until they are satisfied it is ,good enough. In effect, these restaurants are giving previews and it follows that no critic would review before a first night. But this is a very different mat- ter. As far as I'm concerned, if a restaura- teur expects you to pay full price for his mis- takes I am not going to collude in hushing them up. Restaurants do have teething troubles: I am sympathetic, I can be patient; but if a place is open for business as usual for the punter, then it is open for business as usual for the critic. I am prepared to be kind and understanding, but I am not will- ing to be corrupt.
And while we're on the subject, Mr de Blank also seems to suggest that it would be to my credit in some way to be recognised as I go about my business. I can't believe I don't believe — there's a restaurant critic anywhere who wants to be recognised. And although it would surprise me to be recog- nised, it would dismay me more. As a mat- ter of course, and even if it's unnecessary, I always book under a name other than my own. Surely anyone could see it is my duty to travel incognito. The idea of receiving preferential treatment horrifies me: I am there to eat as you would eat, to tell you what sort of an evening you could expect, not to report on the fawning attentions paid to me by anxiously solicitous maitre d's.
Just one final word: Mr de Blank obliquely flatters me. I mentioned that his restaurant in the General Trading Compa- ny was the place to go when I was doing my A levels. Mr de Blank seizes upon that as a gross inaccuracy, another sign of my vil- lainy — why, he has had nothing to do with that venture for two years now. I have to tell him, it is considerably more than two years ago that I did my A levels. But thanks, anyway.
Nigella Lawson
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