YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. I work in a heritage interpretation cen- tre. Some of my work consists of showing ramblers' an Ordnance Survey map on a table as I point out rights of way and areas of special interest. The detail involved requires their faces and mine to come into vet), close proximity as we 'pore' over the Map. I am worried I may pick up infections and resent the intimacy with total strangers. Post-office and rail-ticket officials have grilles to protect them. What can I do?
R. W., Matlock Derbyshire 4. Why not pick up the whole map when dealing with these total strangers? With a comment like 'Let's shed some light on the situation', you can move to a wall near a window where you can spread the map at above eye level. Your left arm should be stretched out, securing the map against the Wall, while your right gesticulates and Points out the details. These actions should Preclude the intimacy you fear.
9: A friend of mine is the wife of a recently Jailed Western Australian politician. He ‘.vas a dreadful character but she is charm- ing and remarkably good company. I'd like to Invite her to a party, but will I embarrass the other guests? What if her husband conned someone there? What is the form
in these dilemmas quite common over
here? Mrs B., Perth A. Send out printed invitations to your party. Where you are unsure of an invitee's attitude, write in the top left-hand corner of their invitation, as though by mistake, the name of your controversial guest. Then introduce the card into an envelope bearing the correct name and address of the recipi- ent written in your own handwriting. Guests will assume their invitation card has been popped into the wrong envelope. Whether they choose to accept or not, they will be aware that an invitation has also been extended to the person you mention.
Q. I have recently become a member of an exclusive health club in the Notting Hill area and would like to be put right on a
point of etiquette. What is the procedure about meeting people one knows naked in the ladies' changing-room (or, indeed, let- ting them see one naked)? I find it embar- rassing when people such as the owner of the local bookshop or wine bar, whom I have been seeing for 15 years with clothes on, suddenly appear at close quarters in the nude. I am now terrified of seeing Antonia Fraser naked, though so far I have only seen her fully clothed putting on gym shoes. I am on 'hello' terms with Antonia and would not like her to think I was trying to get too familiar.
ES., WI!
A. While you are in the changing-room it is desirable for you to intersperse your nor- mal movements with peculiar little blinking gestures, as though trying to reposition a contact lens before deciding to remove it entirely. You can also appear to grope for your clothes. Mutter, 'Haw! I can't see a thing', while you do this. Those who are present in the changing-room with you will heave a sigh of relief. If, however, you are addressed by Lady Antonia while one of you is naked, then it is correct for you to go so close to her own face, while replying, as to prevent either of you getting a view of one another's nude bodies.
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