COMPETITION

Mnemonic

Jaspistos

In Competition No. 1586 you were asked for mnemonic verses to help remember the sequence of the last eight US presidents.

Only three of them (Ford, Carter, Reagan) fail to feature in my Penguin Dictionary of Political Quotations, and only two of them (Truman, Kennedy) make the new edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. I had forgotten that Eisenhower invented the Domino Theory (`You have a row of dominoes set up. You knock over the first one, and what will happen to the last one is a certainty that it will go over very quickly') and I never knew this appealing quote from JFK in 1958: 'I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy — "Dear Jack. Don't buy a single vote more than neces- sary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide." '

Entries were not madly mnemonic, but they were entertaining. Good stuff came from 0. Banfield, David Heaton, Jonathan Fernside, Ron Rubin and Noel Petty. The prizewinners (£12 for the 16- liners, £8 for the others) are printed below, and the bonus bottle of Lamberhurst 1986 Seyval Blanc Dry English Wine, presented by Stephen Skelton of Lamberhurst Vineyards, is given to Martin Fagg.

Harry Truman — failed draper, But then the post-war world reshaper. Dwight Eisenhower — a stolid sap; High golf (and mental) handicap. Jack Kennedy got all the breaks And waltzed the Fornication Stakes. Lyndon Johnson — Texan slob, Who worked by wile and guile and job.

Richard Nixon wiped the slate

Of errors past, then — Watergate! Gerald Ford — so superdumb He couldn't walk straight chewing gum. Georgia's Carter — folksy guy, First 'Jimmy Who?', then 'Jimmy Why?' Last, Reagan — filmic do-or-die man, And one-time husband of Jane Wyman. (Martin Fagg) Truman Through the war seemed human.

Eisenhower Extracted his prize and power.

Kennedy Was a case of Camelot and threnody.

Johnson Was the duck who was the swan's son.

Nixon They dropped a ton of bricks on.

Ford Reaped the reward.

Carter The peanut guy — a farter.

Reagan Had his smile done with a spray-gun. (Mortimer Spreader) T is for Truman, pooh–poohed as small beer; It wasn't the fizz but the bucks that stopped here.

E is for General Dwight Eisenhower,

Soldier perplexed by, political power. K is for Kennedy, charming and able,

Murdered before fate found flaws in the fable. J is for Johnson, a Texan by birth, Durable, tough, uninspired, down-to-earth. N is for Nixon, abrasive and tricky, Watergate victim — no mourners for Dicky. F is for Ford, a 'T' model but white; He did little wrong but not very much right. C is for Carter, the Democrat dove, Who suffered from surfeit of brotherly love. R is for Reagan. In spite of his age He acted most heads of state off the world stage.

(Richard Watts) Harry Truman's sudden power Passed in time to Eisenhower.

When Ike had played his final round, J. F. Kennedy was found. Jack was shot, and ceased to play, Handed on to LBJ.

Johnson, feeling pretty sick, Passed his clubs to Tricky Dick. Nixon, taped and put to sword, Gave his place to Gerald Ford. Gerald was a steady starter More than one would say of Carter. Jimmy's tenure seemed an age Till Ronald Reagan took the stage. Democrats, in accents grim, Swore the stage had taken him!

Truman Gallup polls frustrated, Eisenhower was golf-fixated, Kennedy assassinated, Johnson then inaugurated, Tricky Nixon Watergated, Ford to mishaps gravitated, Carter peanuts propagated, Sir Ron Reagan — elevated! As Dem, Rep, Dem, Rep, Rep, Dem, And Rep again, remember them. (Monica G. Ribon) Truman sported rimless specs, Eisenhower a General's cap, Kennedy had lots of sex, Johnson was a harmless chap, (Paul Griffin) Nixon landed in the shit, Ford did better — about par, Carter was a cheerful twit, Reagan just a movie star. (Ginger Jelinek) Truman said, 'The buck stops here,' Ike kicked MacAfthur in the rear, Kennedy made the girls all cry, Johnson sent the boys to die, Nixon couldn't jump the Gate, Ford didn't carry any weight, Carter's brother was a scream, Reagan was a movie-dream. Neale) (G.