Corridors . .
PUZZLE SOMETIMES wonders which eight MPs he would take with him to a desert island — always, of course, excepting the Speaker and the Official Solicitor.
For a start' he would take Mr Geoffrey Finsberg of Hampstead. This would be an act of charity for Mr Finsberg has, of late, taken to telling his constituents, in a letter pushed through their door, of how he has fought on their behalf during the passage of the rent Bill. And even as he has done so the property where his parents (and Tom Puzzle) live has changed hands twice in property speculation, and unwanted doors, entry telephones, and carpeted entrances have appeared in preparation for that glorious day when the rent officer can be taken on a tour of inspection. Meanwhile the middle class tenants canna wait to get to the polling booth.
Next Puzzle would take Mr Michael Heseltine (who is known in the business as Goldilocks) so he could while away the long nights with the story of his meteoric rise from humble business origins ...
Mrs Peggy Fenner would be included because she claims she can cook and has a nice smile ...
Mr Ray Fletcher would be essential. The Red Baron would devise many escape methods none of which would work but his explanations of them would be splendid . . .
Mr Alex Lyon would be a welcome guest in case there were any insomniacs in the patty and he is on such good terms with the Lord ...
The Rev Dr Ian Paisley would have a most useful function to perform. For a start he is a rather charming person when he chooses to be and if a boat was passing by the merest of whisper from the lips of the Reverend Doctor would bring help . . .
Mr William Hamilton would be simply indispensable. The whole point of being on a desert island is that one could dispense with the normal rules of civilisation and this would be no fun if there was not somebody there to disapprove of it all. And if he refused to recognise the titles used by the local native chieftains Mrs Fenner could help them to cook him.
Finally Mr Jeremy Thorpe would be taken as the Master of the Revels. With his splendid impersonations of the front benchers, a rise in his confidence, since the Liberal Party would have twelve and a half per cent of the representation, and the status of being the only Privy Councillor in the party he would be quite incomparable.
As luxuries Puzzle would take a violin for Mr Thorpe and Mrs Shirley Williams for himself. The only book apart from the Bible and Shakespeare would be the Harold Wilson opus or some other interesting work of fiction. And would he want to escape? Yes but only with Mrs Williams.
Tom Puzzle
Previous page
