CITY AND SUBURBAN
The boys must have their toys, so Nat West asks Papa to stump up £10 billion
CHRISTOPHER FILDES
To be chairman of a High Street bank, as Sir David Rowland is discovering, is like dealing with the demands of an exigent child. 'Papa,' says young Natty West, 'I want a life assurance company.' Because all the others have one?' Not yet, but Lloyds bagged Scottish Widows, and there won't be enough to go round, so we've sim- ply got to hurry.' But I thought you already had one? Isn't it called NatWest Life?"0h, Papa, I built that myself out of rubber bands and paperclips. It's not a real one. Not like Legal & General.' Oh yes? And how much would that cost?' About £10 billion, Papa.' `Million?' ?'Billion."Ouch.' `Papa, I know that's a lot of money, but just think how useful it would be. I bet it would jolly soon pay for itself.' I dare say it would, Nat, but haven't I heard that before?"0h, Papa, surely not."Surely? Wasn't Gartmore a must-have? Our entry to the great growth market of savings and wealth management?"Yes, but once we have Legal & General ... ' 'Once you've got that, you can put Gartmore back in the toy cupboard? Or swap it?' `I hadn't truly worked that out, Papa, but I'm sure it will still come in useful.' So what became of all the other toys we bought at the same time? Greenwich and Gleacher? Something made in Hong Kong that came to pieces in your hands?' That's not fair. I swapped Gleach- er back. Well, I gave it back. And Green- wich is one of my favourites.' And Hambro Magan?"Well, I've kept the gift-wrapping. In any case, Papa, we could afford them all, because we'd just sold the bank in America. You remember.' I remember buying it. Everybody had to have one. Just as every- body had to have a merchant bank and then an investment bank. Think of NatWest Markets.' That was your mistake, Papa. I asked you for a cowboy outfit.'
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