High life
Greek love
Taki
There are few things more soothing to the soul than a racy scandal, especially one that combines licentious practices, the Church and politics. For the past month such a lusty scandal has been monopolising the headlines in Greece inflaming the passions of photography experts, ophthalmologists, atheists, 'gays', 'straights', leftists, rightists and the clergy.
It all began with an announcement by the Minister of Education and Religion that the Bishop of Preveza, a northern Greek city, had been photographed while cavorting in bed with a nude woman. The Minister said that he was revealing the existence of the picture in case it fell into the wrong hands and the Church's prestige were compromised.
Soon afterwards, the picture appeared on the front page of most newspapers but being a colour photograph, it was rather disappointing when printed in black and white, at least as far as porn was concerned. Nevertheless, the eight-thousand-member association of orthodox priests demanded that the Bishop be defrocked. The Bishop, whose name is Stylianos, meaning a pillar of strength, denied that he had been in bed with a nude, especially a woman.
That is when the Archbishop of Greece, Serafim, stepped in. He called the twelveman Holy Synod into session, who examined the evidence. After three days this august body asked for more time to examine the photograph. Everyone got excited, but no decision was taken. The reason was obvious.
Such were the contortions of the couple in the photograph that it was not clear whether the hair belonged to the man's beard or the lady's private parts. (Bishop Stylianos's beard is magnificent.) The Holy Synod then called in photographic and ophthalmological experts. But to no avail. The experts' opinion was also split. Some said it was definitely the Bishop's face hiding behind the lady's ample thighs. Others insisted that no man could contort his body in such a way and stay alive. Especially ea man of Stylianos's age. While the controversy raged, the Bishop took leave of absence for reasons of health. Typically, and cruelly, wags insisted that he was suffering from a broken neck.
As the matter now stands, the Bishop of the island of Lesbos, Iakovos, has been assigned the role of detective inspector charged with discovering the truth. He is being assisted by his fellow Lesbian priests in the investigation. In the meantime, the matter has become politicised — and the country polarised — over the charges by the left that most priests have carnal knowledge of the fair sex. What is surprising about the furore is that it's hardly new. After all, incest, lust and licentious practices are no strangers to the First Estate. Lucrezia Borgia was both the child of a cardinal and his longtime CO cubine. Her father, Rodrigo Borgia, later became Pope Alexander VI. Nor was the presence of women at Papal banquets, with scandalous behaviour after the pudding, uncommon occurrence. In 1490, a high Roman prelate reported that he hardlY knew a priest without a concubine. And King Ferrante of Naples complained that the Holy City was populated with the children of cardinals. Given the above facts, the Bishop's alleged contortions should not have raised many eyebrows. Especially in these enlightened and progressive times. But he was guilty on two counts. First, he had in the past denounced communist persecution 0' priests in Eastern countries and was an outspoken anti-communist. Second, he was involved with, of all things, a woman. for 3 Greek priest, this was unheard of. Needless to say, Greek 'gays' ar,a delighted with the furore over the BishoP s alleged extra-ecclesiastical activities. An underground 'gay' newspaper even went s,) far ain its leader as to say that the BishoP crime and eventual punishment proved that sexuality was homosexuality.
Aso°
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