Q. There I was in the Cathedral, pleased as Punch
to see my friend enthroned as Bishop of Blackburn. Why, you may ask, was there a group of four people, me included, seated, as compared with the 994 standing throughout the procession of the diocesan and visiting clergy? Simply because I had been told by the chap next to me, a visiting diocesan secretary, that one only stood for the Queen or her representatives. I went along with him for the first procession, but my courage left me thereafter and I duly stood for the mayoral and subsequent processions (dammit. I even stand for the choir in Guernsey). What should we have done?
RA.P., Guernsey A. The diocesan secretary must have got the wrong end of the stick It is correct to stand for clergymen, who are, after all, representing God. To spare the feelings of the diocesan twerp, you could have whispered the explanation that even if the 994 others were doing the wrong thing it would be more considerate to copy their gaffe — rather in the spirit of the British ambassador who, observing one of his guests drink the contents of his fingerbow4 followed suit, in order to put the chap at his ease.
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