A. Many take the view that a surprise party is
passive-aggressive. Even if its subject has pulled out all the stops visa vis their personal appearance, their first reaction is bound to be dismay that they have not been consulted about the guest list. At 70, the 'surprise' may well put a strain on their heart. Why not compromise by telling your mother you are giving a surprise party and that she must be prepared for the surprise to be sprung on her at any time within a certain week. In this way you can still sustain the excitement quotient of the surprise while allowing her to remind you of key guests who should be included, as well as reducing the risk of heart failure brought on by thwarted control freakety.
Q. Last week I went to stay with my elderly mother-in-law who had asked me to help with her large garden. May I pass on a tip to readers? Concentrate on dead-heading if asked to help in S garden at this time of year. It is a pleasant task, rarely arduous and easily creates the greatest impact for the least effort. The biennial evening primrose can look very blousy, and roses always need attention.
G. W, Marlborough, Wiltshire A. Thank you for this tip.
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