YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. .
Q. With reference to references (13 July) and the difficulty of being frank about a bad nanny who is still in your employ, your readers might be interested in how to give one without being sued:
You will be lucky if you can get Mr Snooks to work for you. Everyone in the office is mad about Mr Snooks's work. Mr Snooks finds every job a challenge. Mr Snooks was fired with enthusiasm.
A of T., London SW18 4.Thank you for submitting this advice, which would indeed be useful for dealing with office employees.
Q. I am in need of your assistance. I am a lawyer of advanced years with an interna- tional clientele. Recently I entertained an important banker client of mine and his young wife. During dinner the lady extolled the benefits of various fashion, health and beauty products she flogs under one of those 'tupperware'-type arrangements. She attempted to enlist me to sell her products in my office. To avoid embarrassment to my client by rejecting his wife's sales pitch, I thought the best option was to accept a brochure and tell her that I would show it to
some people in my office .and, if they were interested, they would contact her. General- ly, I am not in favour of turning my profes- sional office into a bazaar. She woundingly insisted on my need for many of her skin- care products; my response was, to say the least, noncommittal. Certainly I showed no interest in her suite of unguents etc. I was surprised, the next day, when a large bag of her products arrived including a handwrit- ten instruction sheet entitled 'daily regi- men'. She had completed an order form and directed me to desposit a cheque for a not inconsiderable sum in payment of the 'order'. What should I do? I know the law, but the social implications are very difficult. I have no need of the product, which, I sug- gest, would not be to your liking, Mary, but I certainly do not wish to offend my client by returning it in a manner which would cause embarrassment. Any suggestions?
GB., Perth
A. You could punish her by taking advan- tage of the wide range of artificial complex- ions now available to theatrical make-up artists. Having employed one of these prac- titioners to affix a temporary layer onto your own face — say, bubonic plague or second-degree burns effect — you could then nip round to your client's wife to show her the surprising allergic reaction to her products which yoit have suffered. (Or sim- ply apply Copydex glue to the cheek, brow and chin area and leave it to dry. The glue is harmless and can be peeled off easily once it has served its purpose. Users can enjoy the twin benefit of seeing their reju- venated skin being revealed from beneath the rolls as the glue doubles as an exfo- liant.) 'Don't worry,' you can assure her, 'I won't sue on this occasion. But may I sug- gest that you take out an indemnification policy (on which, of course, you yourself will receive the commission) against any malpractice suits which may be filed against you in the future?'
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